The beginni
ng of the calendar year is also synonym with performance reviews and annual plans. Often, it also means that people have a renewed spirit and may decide to bring up things that would have been hiding under the carpet for some time. It is, in that sense “difficult conversation” season.
At the Office of the Ombudsman we not only help deal with conflict in the workplace once it has arisen, but we also try to hone skills and help personnel of the United Nations Funds and Programmes to prevent and manage conflict more effectively. At the bottom of that lies communication.
This month, we will be sharing some ideas and tools that the Office believes are useful for the “difficult conversation” season. Let us start with a short list of reminders:
- Clarity: Prepare to be clear and specific, including examples, if possible.
- Empathy: Approach the conversation with empathy and understanding. Remember the conversation is difficult for a reason. Active listening and emotion validation are important pieces of this.
- Balance: You may be rushed to get your message across but be mindful of the balance between talking and listening. Asking open-ended questions when there does not seem to be balance can be useful.
- Adaptation: If you feel the situation escapes what you had prepared for, be ready to adapt. Remember that if the emotional situation of the other person is not right, their mind and body may prevent them from actually receiving the message that you prepared. Perhaps you will have to help them feel understood and listened to, first, or even pause the conversation and resume at a better time.
- Solution-focused: Try to frame conversations with a forward-looking mindset. Blaming and exploring the past is often a waste of energy and time. Be ready to build a list of steps forward, in collaboration with the other person.
- Follow-up: After the steps are agreed upon, following-up is key. This is how conversations turn to action and action to improvement. Scheduling periodic conversations may be helpful.
Conversations can be tough, but is tougher when they are avoided, so we hope this will provide you with tools to build up your confidence to have the difficult conversations that have been awaiting.
Stay tuned for more. Next week we will share the first episode of our “Ombudscast”, a podcast by the Office of the Ombudsman for UN Funds and Programmes.
